Today it feels appropriate that I muse on love.
Or should that be ‘on Blackberry’?
As you’ve likely noticed, brand Blackberry has been laying claim to the big L.
“Love what you do, do what you love” is their new phraselet, and in some executions the ubiquitous mobile solution has even taken to sharing its ‘insights’ into the wondrous phenomenon, along the ‘moves mountains’/’greatest thing of all’ kind of lines.
Hmm.
I can see why they’re doing it: Apple commands affection, Blackberry just respect, not fair, etc…
But is it credible?
Can Blackberry plausibly lay claim to love?
Well, when this ‘own a thing’ strategy works – like, say, with Volvo and safety – then the words ultimately can be used almost synonymously.
So let’s put Blackberry’s prospects here to the test, via a few song titles…
“Can’t buy me Blackberry“?
“I am a woman in Blackberry?”
“How deep is your Blackberry“?
“Tainted Blackberry“?
“Blackberry is all around“?
(Actually that last one works, sadly.)
Or could it slide smoothly into that old wedding service standby, 1 Corinthians 13?
“There are three things that last forever: faith, hope and Blackberry.
But the greatest of them all is Blackberry.”
No, it’s just not happening for me – and I think I’ve worked out why.
Because it’s complete bollocks.
Blackberry has absolutely nothing to do with love.
In fact, it has probably done more damage to the cause of love than any other new technology of the last ten years.
I mean, what has spouses taking their Blackberrys to bed with them done for love?
What has the furtive checking of a Blackberry during romantic dinners done for love?
How has the Blackberry-triggered ‘SpamForwarding’ phenomemon (”interesting comment here from Bob – as a team we need to be proactive on this, Ken“) contributed to the spread of love?
This whole campaign is, in the immortal words of Harry Shand, a diabolical liberty.
So please, RIM, stick to what you do best.
Keep that smart mobile technology coming.
But spare us the lectures on love.
